Church of the Militant Elvis Party

Howden Manifesto

June 27, 2008 — Lord Biro

Our candidate if elected will do his best to stop Ayatollah Brown terrorising Magna Carta, single mothers and the disabled.

If elected our candidate would like to see Cherie Blair detained indefinitely in a Convent to stop her having sex with Tony and telling us all the boring details.

If elected our candidate would like to see Butler Paul Burrell banged up in the Tower for 42 years for bonking Princess Di and catching the Queen “Starkers” (News of the World, June 16th)

If elected our candidate would like to see Abu Hamza sent to Ulster instead of the USA, so he can build a mosque next to Ian Paisley’s house, then they can rant at each other to their heart’s content.

If elected our candidate would like to see hell-fire preacher, the Rev. Ian Paisley put in our Party’s solar powered electric chair & given a good roasting for his party’s (DUP) disgraceful support of Brown’s 42 day Detention Bill.

If elected our candidate would like to see CCTV cameras placed in Nick “Cleggover’s” bedroom to prove how useless he is !
From: Church of the Militant Elvis Party